December 10th, 2008 / 12:21 pm
Web Hype

Friends: In Which People Who Don’t Know Eachother Try to Get Along

Perennial provocateur and imminent instigator P.H. Madore, has written A Wordless Threat of Kung Fu Reprisal,  featuring Htmlgiant contributors and other likely lit world suspects.

An exceprt:

Ken Baumann struck the bartender called J. K. very hard with a dead fish he’d had wrapped in recycled chapbooks specifically for such an occasion. The bartender dropped the champagne bottle. Jackie Corley shrieked and said, “Fuck this, I’m getting back to work!” Nick Antosca smiled. Ken Baumann said, “No posit, no colony, motherfuckers!”

Mmm…I wonder if J.K. stands for ‘just kidding.’

Personally, I welcome such satirical takes on me, and hope — god I hope — others feel the same about them.

P.H. Madore is off to Iraq soon, so be nice. Gawd bless you Madore, and Amerika.

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50 Comments

  1. Brad Green

      Has Madore been published somewhere? I didn’t see any links on his site to any work.

  2. Brad Green

      Has Madore been published somewhere? I didn’t see any links on his site to any work.

  3. j. k.
  4. jereme

      i have always wanted to talk to ellen kennedy. i liked that part.

  5. j. k.
  6. jereme

      i have always wanted to talk to ellen kennedy. i liked that part.

  7. Justin Taylor

      jereme- it’d be totally just like madore says too. a few drinks, and you’d be all like “baby, what if sometimes MY heart pushed your ribs?”

      POETRY HEART-THROB.
      SOCIAL REALISM.

  8. Justin Taylor

      jereme- it’d be totally just like madore says too. a few drinks, and you’d be all like “baby, what if sometimes MY heart pushed your ribs?”

      POETRY HEART-THROB.
      SOCIAL REALISM.

  9. jereme

      justin,

      fuck you

  10. jereme

      justin,

      fuck you

  11. JK

      something feels completely desperate about this piece

  12. JK

      something feels completely desperate about this piece

  13. j. k.

      Shut up. I hate you. I’m serious. It doesn’t matter.

      I think Madore was trying to get a third piece in yankee pot roast or something.

  14. j. k.

      Shut up. I hate you. I’m serious. It doesn’t matter.

      I think Madore was trying to get a third piece in yankee pot roast or something.

  15. Justin Taylor

      jereme- i think the main problem with our relationship is you don’t get that i’m reaching out. i thought we were learning to like each other. Anyway, I didn’t even make it into Madore’s satire, so I guess that’s another point for you.

  16. Justin Taylor

      jereme- i think the main problem with our relationship is you don’t get that i’m reaching out. i thought we were learning to like each other. Anyway, I didn’t even make it into Madore’s satire, so I guess that’s another point for you.

  17. Madore

      I thought that three murders would be too many.

  18. Madore

      I thought that three murders would be too many.

  19. jereme

      justin,

      i have no issue with you until that last comment. we can chat about this if you like. i am not going to do this in public forum.

      good job. you are the only person thus far to ‘push my button’.

      so point for you.

  20. jereme

      *have had

  21. jereme

      justin,

      i have no issue with you until that last comment. we can chat about this if you like. i am not going to do this in public forum.

      good job. you are the only person thus far to ‘push my button’.

      so point for you.

  22. jereme

      *have had

  23. jereme

      j.k.,

      i concur. it does seem desperate.

      it was out of whack too.

      ken’s personality wouldn’t say ‘no colony motherfuckers’

      tao lin would not get angry

      jimmy wouldn’t break bottles over heads.

      and then the story has actions that seem plausible like blake eating shit. that is something he’d write about. or tao stealing peanuts.

  24. jereme

      j.k.,

      i concur. it does seem desperate.

      it was out of whack too.

      ken’s personality wouldn’t say ‘no colony motherfuckers’

      tao lin would not get angry

      jimmy wouldn’t break bottles over heads.

      and then the story has actions that seem plausible like blake eating shit. that is something he’d write about. or tao stealing peanuts.

  25. Blake Butler

      jereme can’t you play nice you son of bitch
      justin rules
      you rule
      be good boy(s)
      before i cut a dick off

  26. Blake Butler

      jereme can’t you play nice you son of bitch
      justin rules
      you rule
      be good boy(s)
      before i cut a dick off

  27. matthew simmons

      wasn’t mentioned. didn’t read.

      (where the fuck have i been for the last few days, anyway?)

  28. matthew simmons

      wasn’t mentioned. didn’t read.

      (where the fuck have i been for the last few days, anyway?)

  29. jereme

      i am over it.

      for the record though, implying i am a misogynistic asshole is one thing.

      implying i walk up to a girl who recently exited the mental hospital and reference a video of her weeping for a protracted amount of time in a pick up line is not okay.

      there is the line.

      i am over it.

  30. jereme

      i am over it.

      for the record though, implying i am a misogynistic asshole is one thing.

      implying i walk up to a girl who recently exited the mental hospital and reference a video of her weeping for a protracted amount of time in a pick up line is not okay.

      there is the line.

      i am over it.

  31. Brad Green

      Ah, google, yes. Sorry about being a dumbass there, j.k. I appreciate the assist.

  32. Brad Green

      Ah, google, yes. Sorry about being a dumbass there, j.k. I appreciate the assist.

  33. Blake Butler

      jereme, i have never seen you expose a weak side. i am sad a little. ;)

  34. Blake Butler

      jereme, i have never seen you expose a weak side. i am sad a little. ;)

  35. jereme

      yes blake. i would be dead right now if we were in a street gang.

      weakness is bad.

      all your heroes will disappoint you. we are only human.

  36. jereme

      yes blake. i would be dead right now if we were in a street gang.

      weakness is bad.

      all your heroes will disappoint you. we are only human.

  37. jereme

      plus i am hoping girls everywhere will think ‘oh that jereme dean is a sensitive tough guy. i really think he cares’ and send me pictures of their bewbs.

      please send bewb pictures to jdean33442@gmail.com

      thanks.

  38. jereme

      plus i am hoping girls everywhere will think ‘oh that jereme dean is a sensitive tough guy. i really think he cares’ and send me pictures of their bewbs.

      please send bewb pictures to jdean33442@gmail.com

      thanks.

  39. jereme

      i am also sad a little you used a lame smiley face. it has been bothering me.

      okay i think i’m done blabbering.

  40. jereme

      i am also sad a little you used a lame smiley face. it has been bothering me.

      okay i think i’m done blabbering.

  41. barry

      what the fuck is going on……….

      jereme quit your fucking blabbering………

  42. barry

      what the fuck is going on……….

      jereme quit your fucking blabbering………

  43. Ken Baumann

      Madore: I like it, it’s funny.

  44. Ken Baumann

      Madore: I like it, it’s funny.

  45. Jereme Dean

      oh barry on the spot finally showed up.

  46. Jereme Dean

      oh barry on the spot finally showed up.

  47. tao
  48. tao
  49. Jereme Dean

      tao it was also the title of the video where she cried for 10 minutes.

      thank you for pointing out it was the title of her book.

  50. Jereme Dean

      tao it was also the title of the video where she cried for 10 minutes.

      thank you for pointing out it was the title of her book.