Random

It’s Friday, Fuck Books: Friday the 13th Edition and Calling Yourself A$AP Rocky When Aesop Rock Exists is Accidentally Naming Your Band Led Zeppy in 1980

but still:

 

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January 13th, 2012 / 11:45 pm

Art Thoughtz: Hennesy Youngman on Damien Hirst “The perfect storm of banality”

Random / 7 Comments
January 13th, 2012 / 7:02 pm

MIDTOWN SKIN ESSAY 4: JOB MARKET

4.

LinkedIn is a tower of screaming youth. New York City is a LinkedIn multiprojection, on a perfect black wall. It’s a failure. Investment bankers point and laugh and forget the time they showed up for their first day of work.
***
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January 13th, 2012 / 4:45 pm

The Hero’s Body

This post is an essay about comic books and sex. These are things I am thinking about because of a book I am writing.

In May of 1962, the brilliant scientist Bruce Banner rushed into the site of an experimental gamma bomb detonation in order to save a teenager, young Rick Jones, from the blast. Banner stood at the blast’s center. His body absorbed a massive dose of gamma radiation. Banner soon found that when he lost control of his temper, he would become the Hulk, a super-strong, bulky monster with green skin and the collective smarts of a box of rocks. The Hulk was originally more of a monster than a hero, back when monster books still sold; Stan Lee created him by combining him with Frankenstein’s creature and the Hyde of Jekyll and Hyde. He also compared him to the golem. The Hulk looks like this:

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January 12th, 2012 / 3:31 pm

salt water pepper spray shakers

a poem written by a bear by Tao Lin.

Bear Costume by Steven Miller, with bonus baby carrot.

From “Obliterating Animal Carcasses with Explosives,” a pamphlet issued by the Technology and Development Program of the U.S. Forest Service.

There are times when it is important to remove or obliterate an animal carcass from locations such as recreation areas where a carcass might attract bears, at a popular picnic area where the public might object, or along the sides of roads or trails. Explosives have successfully been used by qualified blasters to partially or totally obliterate large animal carcasses (horses, mules, moose, etc.). It is important to consider location, time of year, and size of the carcass when selecting the quantity and type of explosive to accomplish the obliteration task. The following instructions pertain to partial obliteration (dispersion) for a horse that weighs about 1,100 pounds. In this first example, urgency is not a factor-perhaps the public is not expected to visit the area for a few days, or perhaps bears will not be attracted to the carcass. In any case, in this example, dispersion is acceptable. Place three pounds of explosives under the carcass in four locations. The carcass can then be rolled onto the explosives if necessary. Place one pound of explosives in two locations on each leg. Use detonator cord to tie the explosives’ charges together. Horseshoes should be removed to minimize dangerous flying debris. In situations where total animal obliteration is necessary, it is advisable to double the amount of explosives used in the first example. Total obliteration might be preferred in situations where the public is expected in the area the next day, or where bears are particularly prolific. Carcasses that have been dispersed will generally be totally gone within a few days. Carcasses that have been obliterated will generally not show any trace of existence the next day.

The Bear (Jim Harrison)

When my propane ran out
when I was gone and the food
thawed in the freezer I grieved
over the five pounds of melted squid,
but then a big gaunt bear arrived
and feasted on the garbage, a few tentacles
left in the grass, purplish white worms.
O bear, now that you’ve tasted the ocean
I hope your dreamlife contains the whales
I’ve seen, that the one in the Humboldt current
basking on the surface who seemed to watch
the seabirds wheeling around her head.

Random / 4 Comments
January 11th, 2012 / 9:23 am

Twilight Reimagined

This site lists how Twilight might go if written by a list of other novelists…noteworthy remix styles include Murakami:

“Bella has sex with Edward, who is half a ghost. Jacob is a talking cat. Most of the prose is given over to descriptions of Bella making pasta.”

and Cormac McCarthy:

“In the opening scene, Edward dashes Bella’s head against a rock and rapes her corpse. Then he and Jacob take off on an unexplained rampage through the West.”

Film & Random / 10 Comments
January 8th, 2012 / 1:54 pm

at a party guys…

Dumb fact guy

Brings 6 of beer has one left and takes it home with him guy

Has to phone girlfriend every four minutes guy

Guy who brings cheap jug of wine guy

Guy who gets pet drunk guy

Guy who turns everything into a bet guy

Doesn’t really want to go then dominates all conversations guy

Brings cheap 6 pack and you see him all night drinking Heinekens and Guinness guy

Let’s go out back and get high guy

Bum a smoke guy

Is this an open bar? guy

Way too old for this scene guy

Guy who just whips out his junk guy

Guy with hot, bored wife guy

Steal the silverware guy

Check the weather on phone and tell us the weather guy

Carries a gun to the party guy

Guy with guitar guy

Constantly gets laid guy

Profoundly depressed over break-up mopey guy

“When I was in Spain…” guy

Random / 25 Comments
January 8th, 2012 / 12:59 pm

CORPORATE ADVERTISING AND THE LANGUAGE OF CONSENT

there’s nothing i want more than a way to understand the world that does not rely on money and power

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January 7th, 2012 / 5:54 pm

American Apparent

In 1912, Egon Schiele was imprisoned for 3 days in a town outside of Vienna for producing hundreds of pornographic (according to the State) drawings discovered in his residence after he was arrested for soliciting an underaged girl to model nude for him. It is unclear if he had sex with his models, though it is commonly accepted as so. Painters and their models; writing professors and their students; rock musicians and their groupies. There is simply something gross about this. It is degrading for both sides. Of his models, one Valerie Neuzil (17 at the time), moved him to such a degree that he moved in with her, though ended up marrying Edith Harms, while maintaining his relationship with the former, who left him when she found out about the marriage, duh. Egon had his child in the latter, then died three days after she did, she six months pregnant, both (or all three) from the Spanish flu. His drawings are commended for their deft vigorous hand, but criticized by some for their empty stylization. A hardcover monograph of his work will run you $120.00 at a museum store, though a cunning curator may wish to simply decide on their favorite image and buy the postcard for $2.00. In 2008, American Apparel owner and creator Dov Charney allegedly opened the door in his boxers, removed his member from a “non-outsourced vertically integrated” flap, and forced Irene Morales, one of his models, exactly on her 18th birthday, to perform fellatio on him on her knees at the doorway, then forced her to repeat the act many times, “nearly suffocating her in the process,” according to the $250,000,000 lawsuit Morales filed in 2011. In his defense, Charney said “some people love sluts,” after leaking consensual text messages from Morales. Only evidence is evident, all else is merely apparent. Many other suits ended up as settlements, as many other suits ended up at used-clothing stores. Walk down the cool college-y street of your city towards the bauhaus-y designed store front, and you will see a group of headless manikins standing there. Their pose should be of repose, a calm loyalty that only those without a mind would not mind.

Random / 31 Comments
January 5th, 2012 / 3:11 pm

The Soul Transformative Experience of Writing Itself: An Interview with Ryan Boudinot

Massive Novel Alert: Today marks the official release of Ryan Boudinot’s massive (in all senses of the word[seriously—it’s going to create a gravity well]) new novel Blueprints of the Afterlife(Grove 2012). I got a chance to read this early on. I like Ryan’s work. I like Ryan. Ryan’s a solid citizen of literature in Seattle. And everywhere. I figured I would like the book.

I didn’t figure it would be as expansive, as imaginative, as powerful, and as quaking as it it.

Seriously. It’s awesome. Take a look. Here’s a sample chapter.

Over the next few days, I’ll be posting some Boudinot appreciations and a round-up. (And if anyone reading has something they’d like to add, feel free to get in touch with me @ giantblinditems @ gmail dot com.) Today, though, we begin with a long interview with the author.

***

You’ve written flash stories, short stories, a short novel, and a really long novel. Do you have a length at which you feel most comfortable?

You’re really wanting me to start this interview with a penis joke, aren’t you?

Heh. For the record, I think that no matter what is said in this email chain, we should use it in the interview. So, that line. And this caveat. We should just use everything said in here.

So, yes. READ MORE >

Author Spotlight & Random / 18 Comments
January 3rd, 2012 / 4:17 pm