October 2008

C O N T R O V E R S Y

Uh oh. On the heels of our Rain Fade announcement comes another new journal introduced by video. Not only that, but this new journal comes to us from the rubble from those infamous Jaguar Uprising boys (or two of them, anyway). It’s a challenge to Rain Fade, it’s an explanation of what happened to Jaguar Uprising, it’s a journal for the working class who just want to “put their feet up, eat pork and beans, and read the most uprising literature they’ve read in over a decade, baby.”* Yes, *that’s a composite quote. It’s not real. Is that a duck? Sauce? Thanksgiving? Who’s the manbitch now? Also, yes, we’re talking about: BEAR AND BOY BOOKS.

Watch the video.

Watch it.

Eat it.

Who will win? Who will last all night? Who will send you home in the morning with a tin of molasses biscuits? With an @ shaped hickey? Rain Fade VS. Bear and Boy Books. Rain Fade VS. Bear and Boy Books. Rain Fade VS. Bear and Boy Books.

THE BATTLE IS NOW: FOR THE FUTURE: OF NOW: BATTLE: THE: IS

Uncategorized / 34 Comments
October 23rd, 2008 / 4:55 pm

In Profile: Rachel B. Glaser

Kelly Spitzer’s ongoing writers in profile project is always a fun one: this week she tackles the badass Ms. Rachel B. Glaser, who if I continue to harp on about how good her PEE ON WATER story in the new New York Tyrant is, somebody will probably think I’m obsessed.

My PEE ON WATER tattoo is on my ass specifically so no one but the real reals get to see it. And whoever’s at the bar when I get happy.

I like Rachel’s attitude about messing around with people in writing, and so forth. Her blog has some archived writing and etc. Do it.

Author Spotlight / 6 Comments
October 23rd, 2008 / 2:01 pm

instead of going to lunch i explode to lunch


Do you care about static electricity? How can you not? Recent polling shows that particles of static electricity are the final undecided voting bloc. Luckily, this invaluable constituency is now addressed by a new online journal of poetry, fiction, non-fiction, and photography/visual art: Rain Fade. Bryan Coffelt and Wille Ziebell edit Rain Fade. In their words:

Rain Fade is interference and degradation of a signal.

Rain Fade is the barrier between words and objects.

Rain Fade is the space between your eye and my eye.

Rain Fade is a new journal of interesting and innovative writing and visual art. We are interested in fiction, non-fiction, poetry, photography, painting, and much more. Send all submissions and inquiries to submissions@rain-fade.com

There’s a lovely video at rain-fade.com that features the two editors introducing the video and interviewing each other, wherein Bryan explains what would happen to him if he turned into Kurt Russell.

NO OTHER JOURNAL IS ADDRESSING THE KURT RUSSELL FACTOR. TAKE THAT, BITCHES.

Web Hype / Comments Off on instead of going to lunch i explode to lunch
October 22nd, 2008 / 6:03 pm

The seven credos

Ben Marcus guest edits the oct/nov fiction for GUERNICA, asking the seven writers to offer a one sentence credo:

1. I believe that writing is the highest resolution medium.

2. I struggle with the difference between what I pledge to myself and what I do finally; or, what I sometimes call my falseness; but when I say after all I’m not being false for wanting to be a certain way, that I just have high goals, I will have to agree that no one else around is false either and say for myself that I have the perpetual condition of falling short.

3. I endeavor, word by word, sentence by sentence, to write myself an adult-sized, customized uterus in which I and invited guests may duck, buck, and float.

4. (I write because) I am interested in dark and stormy nights, syntax and moments of delicate, major humiliation.

5. I ogle, grope, and weep; always in that order.

6. I don’t trust fiction with no sense of humor and I know I’m writing it when everything adds just so; I know I’m closer when I’m left holding extra parts—parts I know I need even though the thing runs fine without them.

7. I will be a lion for my own cause.

These are unattributed, and skimming to the list before reading Marcus’ intro, I assumed all 7 were his (made more convincingly by No. 3’s “customized uterus,” which shares Marcus’ dry and somewhat grotesque symbolic tendencies). I’m usually annoyed by manifesto-ish stuff, but this seems earnest enough. I really like how unabashed No. 7 is.

Here’s my credo: Everyone has a story, so put it down.

Okay, time to start printing out those long-ass stories. Geez, writers really have a lot of time on their hands. Good job Ben.

Uncategorized / 8 Comments
October 22nd, 2008 / 3:33 pm

I didn’t know Flannery O’Connor was a whore

In their manner of honoring the dead old lady from Milledgeville, GA, UGA Press, ever the pioneering visionaries, have ‘blindly’ selected Andrew Porter’s The Theory of Light and Matter, which comes, blindly, from an Iowa grad who has published stories in One Story, Epoch, the Pushcart Prize anthologies, and so on.

Those factors certainly don’t have to add up to a boring book, if a slightly predictable one, but then the copy on the book’s win already has the thing looking like it will be on the shelf next to all those books we could have read in its place:

In the tradition of John Cheever, ten stories that explore the loss and sacrifice in American suburbia: These ten short stories explore loss and sacrifice in American suburbia. In idyllic suburbs across the country, from Philadelphia to San Francisco, narrators struggle to find meaning or value in their lives because of (or in spite of) something that has happened in their pasts. In “Hole,” a young man reconstructs the memory of his childhood friend’s deadly fall.

Sure, O’Connor wrote narrative stories with development and all, but she did that years ago, before a lot of others, and I can’t imagine what she’d be doing now, years later. I honestly think this kind of repetitive story blandering is a knock on her name more than a praise.

‘Don’t shit in my mouth and call it a cookie.’

Even Barry Hannah’s blurb seems a little stilted: “I’ve known of Andrew Porter’s genius for ten years. He’s a born storyteller. Every page of The Theory of Light and Matter will change something in your life and refresh you. Yet it is an easy read, nothing like classroom lit. He makes his own space instantly and invites you in. Hats off!”

So here’s to another win we could’ve called from outside the stadium. Another contest rewarding mimicry. Can’t wait to read more Cheever. Yay.

Contests & Presses / 42 Comments
October 22nd, 2008 / 12:44 pm

new work at muumuu house includes old work

Tao Lin has posted three short stories by Matthew Rohrer and reprinted a Tara Wray story from Pindeldyboz 3. Plus don’t forget R.B. Glaser’s modern classic: “Butt Teen,” which has been up since the site launched I think.

Presses / 2 Comments
October 21st, 2008 / 10:03 pm

Barrelhouse gets nip/tuck’d

Each issue of Barrelhouse keeps outdoing itself one after the other: and to mark the occasion the dudes that run the joint decided to bring a corresponding new head on their web head.

The new site contains a nice clean new structure featuring their latest online texts by Emma Straub, Tod Golberg, and etc, as well as their regularly updated blog, which is always a good read, and does more to dig up weird pop culture sluff and make fun of it in a mind such as The Soup.

Check it out, and while you’re at it, check out their new issue, Barrelhouse 6, which has work by Mary Miller, Denise Duhamel, Jay Wexler, and etc.

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October 21st, 2008 / 3:16 pm

MASSIVE PEOPLE (1): GianCarlo DiTrapano

Tuesdays at HTMLgiant shall now entail the feature MASSIVE PEOPLE, in which good people who are doing important shit for independent literature will be featured for a handful of q’s and some sexy photos, etc. Editors, publishers, writers, anything with a good mouth.

I would be hard pressed to find someone better to kick this bitch off with than GianCarlo DiTrapano, who in addition to be the editor of one of the best literary journals around NEW YORK TYRANT, which will soon be launching its press leg with books by Michael Kimball, Brian Evenson, Eugene Marten, and more, is also a hell of a writer (recently published in Opium.print and No Colony, etc.) and fun to listen to talk.

Let’s kick it.

1. What happens to you most days?

The same as what happens to most.  I eat and work and have drinks and then lay back down to do it again.  It’s getting colder in New York so I will be spending less time outside.

What does not happen to you most days?

I sit back and relax as my bank account wildly increases and then I beat my dog to celebrate.

2. You were in my dream the other night, no kidding, I don’t know why, it was a small apartment, you were in one door yelling at someone on the other side of the room at another door, me and another guy were watching, the man you were yelling at took out a gun and shot you in the face. What does this mean? Why?

I know what it means.  I have the same one.  You and a friend drive from Atlanta to New York City for a party.  I spot you guys downtown and say hello.  The three of us go to a bar and get drunk, really drunk, and a phonecall is placed using your friend’s phone.  The rest of the night is delivered by a smiling Latino boy with silver sunglasses on top of his head. We return to my apartment in Hell’s Kitchen to finish things.  We get back there, and do indeed finish them, but in a hurry, as if “finishing” were the objective.  We call for more. A different guy shows up this time (no silver sunglasses) and I don’t recognize him.  There seems to be some bad blood.  You can tell by the tone we use.  So, the rest of the night is passed to me but it’s light.  Sometimes I raise my voice when I’m displeased. I am standing in the kitchen doorway as the delivery guy stands just inside my front door. I tell him, with a raised voice, how much this pains me.  I ask him what is going on and why he insists on being such a jig.  A gun is produced, I get shot in the face. My hands come up over my mouth, blood pours from between my fingers.  You and your friend are sitting on the floor, backs against the wall and you can’t stop staring. All four of your eyes are huge and you’re just staring at me.  It looks like you aren’t even breathing. I stumble back into the kitchen and land on the floor. From the linoleum, I see him turn the gun on you and your friend. Your friend’s skin miraculously turns black the moment the gun is pointed at him. You, Blake, turn pink and start glowing and you look like you’re getting younger.  Both of you get it real good though; three times each in the stomach. Then you roll over onto your sides and hold your guts in.  It’s an awful scene. The bullet I took went out through my cheek, so, even though there’s a lot of blood, I live.  But you two don’t though.  You could’ve, but you don’t though.  Your lives are allowed to end because I am too bothered with my face.  I am so worried about it that I must keep continuing the rest of the night to deal with it while both of you wiggle on the floor holding your stomachs and bleeding to death. In my defense, I do keep saying over and over, “I’m really sorry about all of this, Blake.  I’m so so sorry. Tell your friend I’m sorry. Why’s he black now? Tell him I’m sorry. New York is usually a pretty good time.” And then I mumble something indecipherable.  I don’t look at you when I say it because I am busy with what is laid out on the desk in front of me. Crushing and chopping.  It is turning pink and balling up from the falling blood of my mouth. I get the feeling in the dream that you and your friend think I’m being rude.  Does your dream run like this?

Now, if dreams do anything else besides foretell the future, I think they allow themselves to be opened for interpretation. This particular dream can be interpreted like this: Giancarlo DiTrapano can be a very selfish person and may seem like not such a good friend when he is in the pocket. He lacks what he’s always craved: elan. But it also signifies a deep tie between us, Blake.  Watching someone get shot in the face in your dreams is textbook Freudian for a future bond.  If I had been naked, the dream would mean you were planning on shooting me yourself.  But, you know, if that’d happened, I’d never have invited you two back to my place and probably would have walked the other way once I spotted you guys downtown.

3. Tell me a literary rumor. Make it up if you have to.

I think I know what you’re getting at.  Hmmm…let me see. This one time, to get a story for the Tyrant, I sent “a young Italian girl with pretty feet” over to a writer’s house at his request. It was a trade, and we received in turn a story by the writer.  The story was worth it. The story is good. And it created this other story.  A whole new story that didn’t exist before.  The story about getting the story.  That was the last good thing I’ve written and I didn’t even have to pick up a pen.

4. What books are you reading now? What books do you want to read?

What I read daily, without question, are the titles stacked in my bathroom.

“Waste” by Eugene Marten (Already read this, but I just like picking it up and digging in at any point)

a book of poems by Piero Pasolini (This was a gift.  Roman Poems.  Kind of sucks.)

a book titled “Disarming the Narcissist,” (This was mailed to me by a printer as an example of their work and I don’t have many books like this so it’s different and fun to learn what a narcissist I am.)

“The Origins of Solitude” by Garth Buckner

“Essay on Man” by Alexander Pope. (Jaw-dropping)

I want to read Under The Volcano and the recently released Camus diaries.

Gian's son learning to smoke

Gian's son learning to smoke

5. What are you writing now? What do you want to write?

I am working on a piece about David Lynch for this collection that is coming out soon that should be great.  I’m actually having trouble with it and am hoping the editor won’t get angered by me failing completely. But I don’t really write that much.  I have in the past, wrote a little here or there, but not so much.  I don’t even consider myself a writer most of the time.  I’d like to do it more, but when I’m not really feeling it I end up hating the whole damn world and everyone in it and especially hate myself for acting like such a fraud.

Massive People / 11 Comments
October 21st, 2008 / 3:09 am

mike bushnell’s “tidal”

mike bushnell just published a piece of writing called tidal.  please read it.  some say that tidal is cursed.  some say, a man just ain’t right after reading it.  there was a feller tried reading it and had a seizure and died on the stained carpet in his room he did.  another feller’s eyes turned black and fell right out his skull onto his laptop.  tidal.

Uncategorized / 12 Comments
October 21st, 2008 / 12:50 am

MEAN MONDAY: Aggressive Suitor

Got a special email last night from some dude, titled ‘Yeah, you.’ Uh oh.

Here’s what it had to say:

What’s up with your dead dick website? The motherfucker is cut-off on the left. Were you cum drunk when you designed it? Anyway dildo breath, here it is with your fake ass tough talk; What the piss is the pay for publication in your magazine? Most lit mags list it, why should I need to contact you about it? List it, Goddamn it! Do it NOW!! I write stories that make Hemingway, Fitzgerald and others of their ilk look like candy asses, suckling at their momma’s tit. I don’t have time to be coddling dirt dumb editors who can’t even layout a guidelines page – wake the fuck up!!

Christopher Roberts

I was able to find one online piece of work by Christopher Roberts, who writes stories that make Hemingway, Fitzgerald and others of their ilk look like candy asses, which is an an essay criticizing the closed-mindedness of the New Yorker (ironically at 3:AM Magazine). Bone crushing.

I’m not sure which way I offended Mr. Roberts, as I haven’t been able to link him to any of the journals I criticized the design of during Mean Week.

I did find him stickin’ it to the man from the inside on some writer’s publicity group called writers.net. Here’s his profile:

Chris Roberts
Agent: Writers net sucks
Brooklyn, New York, United States

Email: croberts7@nyc.rr.com

I live to run Writers net out of business – it’s run by a bunch of blowjobs.

Interests: Serial Killing.

Published writer: Yes

Freelance: No

Salivatory.

Anyway, to answer your question, dude, you must not have paid close enough attention to the ‘guidelines’ on our site (I assume you are talking about No Colony, though I’m not quite sure how websites can be ‘cut off on the left,’ does your monitor load backwards?) but let me point you to this thing right here on the front page:

BUY YOURSELF IN: Are you lonely? $400 installs text of your choice in our gaping loins. Leave the money on the dresser. May or may not include disease.

We accept cash, credit, money orders, New Yorker subscriptions, and some forms of primitive coin or manual stimulation.

Now if you’ll excuse me, I’m on my way back to quivering in the vast throes of impending serial-killer-narrative innovation.

Good luck!

Mean & Random / 51 Comments
October 20th, 2008 / 7:06 pm