Fuck Twitter + Exploder
Hi, we’re on Twitter now.
Our bodies are changing. It is scary when our bodies start to change.
Like, your hair grows where before you just rubbed and rubbed
and ladies are more interested in you, and men,
and there is trouble brewing in the cistern
and you might bruise a knee if you cry too hard
yes, we are a changing
changing so hard everyday, it’s like pushups plus grease
i feel exploder
did you know i had a baby last year?
it’s what makes me angry and upset
i can sometimes do a post about how strong my back is
and sometimes i can post about Ricky Moody
to be honest, though, this website is just a hoax made of candy n paper,
designed to get Diane Wililams randy in her special spot
Diane Williams i think changes everyday too
though you never complained when she did that
Don’t fight! We came to make babies
and to eat those babies on crackers provided free of charge
by the goodwill of Cooper Renner and Lee Klein
and Restin Borstenseinsen
and Pimp C (RIP)
Crackerz! for Night Train Magazine!
Crackerz! for Ass Hi Books!
Crackerz! for Haypenny Magazine (RIP)!
Crackerz! for crackers like ya’ll bitches who all you wanna do is front
No really, tho. Let’s play Internet Publishing Mall Madness, n update what we eat on the Twitter, n buy a book sometime, with our monies
‘stead o’ just writin’ that shit all day n shit,
& like my friend Dave ‘future ex editor of NYer’ Shakur said, I get $$$ nigga
till I dead
** THIS POST SHOULD RECEIVE 200 COMMENTS, AS IT IS TRULY ABOUT ABSOLUTELY NOTHING **
Apples and Cheese: Both in Your Mouth
Rauan Klassink’s Ringing, a new e-book from Kitchen Press. Sam Pink just interviewed Rauan a few hours ago, which means it’s almost outdated. Mercy!
PAIRS DELICIOUSLY WITH:
Leonard Cohen’s Beautiful Losers. A novel that should be as indie-revered as any you can name by Yipzeeny, Kurdledonk, or Qqqqqqqq. But people never mention it? Is it because Thomas Pynchon liked it? Is it because it’s about a bisexual love triangle and a dead Native American Catholic saint? Is it because Montreal? It is because God of? You’re like, “Is that the Hallelujah guy? Didn’t he write that cute Suzanne song?” Is it because of Charles Atlas or a mystical dildo? Are you afraid? Cohen called Beautiful Losers more of a sunstroke than a novel. People turn into movie projectors. People cancel a statue of Queen Victoria. Hey, when you get a chance, you should buy your new favorite novel:
Moustaches for DC Children
not mike scalise
I’ve already talked a little bit about the Capitol Letters Writing Center project in DC, so this shouldn’t be too confusing. Basically, the latest news is this: the staff/volunteers are growing moustaches for the month of March to get donations for the Writing Center. These donations will go towards helping the Writing Center accomplish its mission of offering free workshops and tutoring programs to DC students, much like what the 826 centers and the folks at Badgerdog Literary Publishing do.
Friend Mike Scalise is trying to grow a moustache – if he can get $10 from fourteen people, he will have met his goal for the project: $137.23. If you’d like to sponsor his facial hair, or the facial hair of any other volunteer, visit the Capitol Letters Donation page.
Thank you.
An Open Response re: HTMLGIANT
The following are answers to questions posited by Brandon Scott Gorrell about HTMLGIANT. I don’t think he was being sarcastic, and I will honor these questions with sincere answers. I am not trying to put him on the spot. I think BSG is one of our best writers around, and I respect him. These answers are respectful. [*Disclaimer: this is not a solicited interview. BSG asked these questions on his blog, and I merely answered them. He and I had no direct discourse.]
what happened to htmlgiant
I think you mean, maybe, like it’s ‘different,’ or worse, ‘not as good.’
was it something inside me or inside htmlgiant
I feel like you’ve been more alienated lately, like you fake-deleted your blog, and came back from NY depressed, and you are questioning your existence more and more. So 60% of it is you, but 40% of it is HTMLGIANT.
i used to read htmlgiant feeling excited
I think when it first started, there was a rush of excitement that has since diminished. Posts used to get 200+ comments, now it’s 20+ on a good day. I think, if a journal or website is to last, it needs a) devoted contributors and b) a consistent ethos. I think we have both.
now i feel a little bored and alienated
That’s probably 88% you, sorry. I will admit we are 12% boring and alienating.
Duotrope’s sense of humor
For those of you who use Duotrope: ever notice how if you post an update of a ‘rejection,’ the program says Success! because you have successfully updated the fact that you’re a failure?
Uncategorized / 9 Comments
March 2nd, 2009 / 1:24 pm
March 2nd, 2009 / 1:24 pm
SNOW DAY!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
If it’s 10 AM on a Monday, and I’m in my bedroom, in my underwear, taking and posting the above-photo rather than on the NJ transit headed to Rutgers to teach, then it must be SNOW DAYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYY (YYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYY)
Happy weather-induced freedom to all those who have it, and heartfelt sympathy to everyone else!
Uncategorized / 6 Comments
March 2nd, 2009 / 11:12 am
March 2nd, 2009 / 11:12 am
There is a god
via USA Today:
NEW YORK (AP) — A long, unfinished novel by David Foster Wallace is scheduled for a posthumous release next year.The Pale King, excerpted in The New Yorker magazine edition coming out Monday, is set in an Internal Revenue Service office in Illinois in the 1980s.
Wallace’s longtime publisher, Little, Brown and Company, will release the novel. Little, Brown said in a statement Sunday that the novel runs “several hundred thousand words and will include notes, outlines, and other material.”
Wallace, best known for the 1,000-page novel Infinite Jest, was a longtime sufferer from depression who committed suicide last fall. He was 46 and had been working on The Pale King for several years.
Sure, it wasn’t finished. Sure, it might not be fully what it would have been if completed under David Wallace’s human eye. But it’s what we have left, and I for one can breathe a little easier now knowing I will have the experience of reading another brick from my brother, even in such light.
I seriously pumped my fist and grinned and shook a little when I read this. I am giddy.
Thank you thank you.
EDIT: The NYer excerpt piece, Wiggle Room, is now available on their site here!!! Which, holy fuck, the first sentence: Lane Dean, Jr., with his green rubber pinkie finger, sat at his Tingle table in his chalk’s row in the rotes group’s wiggle room and did two more returns, then another one, then flexed his buttocks and held to a count of ten and imagined a warm pretty beach with mellow surf, as instructed in orientation the previous month.
And holy fuck the whole rest…
BONUS: a few pages of the manuscript, with notes, etc, as well as accompanying art by his wife Karen Green.
God.
This should be, I think, seen as a celebration, regardless of the sadder angles. As one who could not have adored him more, it seems more vital now than ever.
WHEN I GROW UP I WANT TO BASH RAUAN KLASSNIK’S HEAD INTO PULP: AN INTERVIEW ABOUT RAUAN KLASSNIK
hello. i wrote something recently about liking interviews. after i wrote that rauan klassnik emailed me and asked about being interviewed. i interviewed him and here it is. also, he has a new book on the internet at this place:
http://rauanklassnikringing.com/
(interview after break)
Latin Lessons from Metal Magazines: A New Series
Esoteric is a pretty profound band. Their very name suggests complexity. So when you’re already butt deep in their fantastically crushing, cerebral world of atmospheric funeral doom and you’re hit with a tongue-tripping track like “Ignotum Per Ignatius”, it’s only natural to to wonder what the hell it means. Inquiring minds will be pleased to know that, according to our findings (via the Merriam Webster Dictionary), “Ignotum Per Ignatius” is a Latin phrase defined as ‘(explaining) the unknown by means of the more unknown.’ Now you know. Sort of.