I’m pissed! Kim Kardashian has just given birth, and well, this sucks. Sucks because this deprives us of a month full of pregnant Kim. A month full of big, beautiful Kim. A month full of tabloid shots in which Kim could grow into more astronomically and giddyingly, attractively large.
But, life goes on, as it must. (Sigh.) But I can yet glory in really big Kim! So, what follows are some cobbled together notes that I was working on but which kind of got lost in all my LeBron fantasias, among other things:
our Idol (& her man)
Standing in line to pay for our bananas and tick medication I notice that pregnant Kim Kardashian looks HUGE (unrealistically huge) on the cover of all the tabloid magazines. “They must be enhancing these,” I snicker to my wife as I rub anxiously at my neck. “O, no,” she replies, cocksure. “I bet she looks exactly like this.”
And I’m like “huh?” but realize, there and then in our honest, local Fred Meyer, that people aren’t making fun of or laughing at Kim’s exploding monster-physique they are, instead, idolizing it. READ MORE >
[ Just as Shakespeare jauntily lifted and displayed pieces from his great store load of words pertaining to and characterizing people’s privates (including “nothing,” a favorite among feminists!) I have decided to whip out here some closely guarded tidbits about famous people’s pussies. So, come on, slap your thighs, crunch peanuts in the pit, and gaze up, all forlorn, at the sultry clouds.
And, above all, enjoy. ]
everyone adores a cute little pig!
A non-pregnant Kim Kardashian’s is a furry teacup pig on its day at the spa. Showing off its nails and gleaming skin. The clit’s a snout and it makes gorgeous and empty little squeals that no man can resist.
poor thing!
Paris Hilton’s is very much like a starved Flamingo curled up into a sad ball on the fringes of the high-acid waters of some South American crater lake. The sky’s filled with hotels and jails and at night the stars crowd in like ghoulish paparazzi. . . And the starved flamingo shivers like a scared Chihuahua that pees on Paris’s marble floors whenever it’s afraid or excited.
(Cormac McCarthy’s trying to work this dish into a new disaster novel). READ MORE >
By now you’ve probably seen the linguistic maps of the United States that depict how oddly people speak outside of the South. Loyer? What? Recently, I’ve been working on a similar (though much larger in scope) project mapping the speech patters in my household, which is made up of me and Laura Relyea of Vouched Books. By tracking the usage and pronunciation of the two members of the household, I was able to create graphical representations of linguistic differentiation in a Southern urban domestic setting. Theoretically, I leaned heavily on Wittgenstein in analyzing my data. Here are some of the results.
Gabe Durham is starting up an incredibly cool new press called Boss Fight Books that will revolve around creating great books about classic video games. The launch titles will be Earthbound, Galaga, Super Mario Bros. 2, ZZT, and Jagged Alliance 2 with a great lineup of authors from a variety of backgrounds. These include Ken Baumann, Michael Kimball, Anna Anthropy, Jon Irwin, and Darius Kazemi. I recorded a two minute video short with short clips for each of the games to commemorate and celebrate the news, as well as a reminder of how cool each of the titles were. I got goosebumps just recording/playing Earthbound again! As their Kickstarter surpassed initial expectations, it’s happening for sure, though you can still get in on the action and help them reach their stretch goals by clicking the link below. The first of the books is coming out near the end of the year and there’s a lot more of the details on the link. The book covers look beautiful and you can check out what the press will be about directly from Gabe Durham and Ken Baumann on the Kickstarter page. And of course, make sure to check out the books when they release, as well as the games themselves!
The Series:
Each of the books will take a critical, creative, historical, and personal look at a single classic video game.Some books will be about the history of the game’s creation, some will focus on particular elements like level design, story, and music, some will investigate the subculture that has formed around a game, some will bring in outside art, science, and media, some will have a strong autobiographical element. Many books will be a combination of all these things.
The Format:
All the books will be available in paperback and ebook (all formats), and sold both directly from our site and from other major online bookstores. Each book will be numbered, collectible, and will look great on your shelf together.
I’ve lived in Seattle for a little over two years now and since AWP, the big show, is coming to town next year I thought it might be a good idea to introduce you to some of its stand-out authors. (I plan to do this periodically. ra ra ra.) And you’ll get the sense, after a while, that Seattle has a strong and growing lit scene. (the first year or so I just stayed in and took baths all day, but now I’ve ventured out and discovered some of what’s on offer. and there’s a lot.).
The first spotlight’s of Richard Chiem. Richard’s great to read, talk to, be with, has great energy, and is very shrewd, kind and edgy. Richard Chiem and I kind of hit it off right away and have gone on walk talks together. Ice cream and pizza sit talks too. We talk all sorts of shit: UFC, literary Gods, Collage Methods, Fucking the Reader, Dwarves, etc, etc. And this weekend we’re dim sum double dating!
So, anyways, Richard Chiem’s Seattle Author Spotlight consists of a brief interview, Bio and photo.
Brief Bio:
Richard Chiem (b.1987) is the author of YOU PRIVATE PERSON, a collection of short stories published by Scrambler books. His work has appeared in Thought Catalog, CityArts Magazine, and Everyday Genius, among other places. Richard lives in Seattle with his girlfriend and their loud cat. He is currently working on two novels.
Brief Interview:
Rauan: How does Seattle make, or make it into, yr writing? (plz be brief)
Richard: When I write about rain right now it’s about Seattle. But other than those few instances, Seattle hasn’t made it to the foreground quite yet. But I love this city. It’s finally my home. I am thinking about writing a novel about a cult or secret colony in Seattle. There seems to be a lot of things here waiting to shock and be discovered.
RK: To give our readers a taste could you plz quote a sentence or two from yr debut collection of short stories, You Private Person (aka YPP, which, for the record, I think’s a novel) (plz be brief) ?
RC: ‘Love feels like a thing people eventually learn to live without like tonsils or god.’
RK: The voice in YPP comes off as quite a “sensualist,” enjoying the transformations before sex, etc. Your thoughts? (plz be brief)
RC: I don’t know if you did this, and it was a thing I started to do when I was younger, but whenever I had a pain in my left hand, or a bump or scar or something, I would check my right hand to see if the same thing was there. I would do this with friends too, meaning if I was having some fucked-up day, I would ask if they had fucked-up days too. I learned how alone I was in some moments, and how common some experiences really were among my peers.
I value the little scenes, sometimes sensory observations, that make up our long boring ass days. In how we mirror each other. Or not at all.
Since most of you probably don’t have time for bullshit Twitter (or if you are a tweeter then you know that it all goes by in a terrible whir) I’ve decided to post up, periodically, a Best of Twitter that features best and helpful tweets. This is part of the “new Rauan.” The helpful and gentle Rauan. Awwwww.
And, so, anyways, here’s the first installment!
1) “The issue of POETRY that you’re sorry you haven’t seen yet #landays” …….. (Poetry Foundation — @PoetryFound)
Rauan’s Comment: no comment
2) “Time to fuck shit up Shakespeare I’m coming for you brah” …….. (Kalen O Donoghue — @Kalen_ODonoghue)
Rauan’s Comment: Brava! Brava! We should all have such attitude (& diction)!
3) “The depth of reality is ■ many shadows weave ■ ebbing love and bonds ■ plowing emotions to leave.” …….. (Denise — @Moinees13)
Rauan’s Comment: a Classic
4) “covered in stars
the jewel of
the night
stares
from those eyes..#museinlove” …….. (S.E. Thompson — @dreamersteve_99)
Rauan’s Comment: a Classic with impressive line breaks
5) “@Klassnik marry american or get the fuck out of our country” …….. (Reb Livingston — @rebliv)
Rauan’s Comment: this, shudder, is a note from an “abusive” friend
6) “morning opens you up like a toddler with a blowtorch” …….. (Scribble — @scribblymouse)
Rauan’s Comment: the Mouse doing what the Mouse does best
7) “AMAZING NEWS ! We have secured our Opposition Day debate on the Badger Cull. Wednesday! PLEASE WRITE TO YOUR MP NOW. #stopthecull” …….. (Dr. Brian May — @DrBrianMay)
Rauan’s Comment: Save the badgers, God damn it!
8) ” ‘Cum For Bigfoot’ is free as a bird! Grab a copy today and “Whoooaaaarrrr….#free#bigfoot#monstersex#sasquatch” …….. (Virginia Wade —@VirginiaErotica)
Rauan’s Comment: this is an excellent read
9) “Remember how Commander Data in Star Trek TNG could listen to eight symphonies simultaneously? I can do that with Mexican food.” (Eric Raymond — @pontiuslabar)
Rauan’s Comment: genius
10) “A-Rod has disgraced the blessed @Yankees organization, lied to the fans & embarrassed NYC. He does not deserve to wear the pinstripes.” …….. (Donald J. Trump — @realDonaldTump)
Rauan’s Comment: nugget from the gold mine (seriously,everyone should follow this guy)
11) “Dammit, my baby’s eating dog shit again.” …….. (Trailer Swift — @IamTrailerSwift)
Rauan’s Comment: yeah
And since I know I’m going to get thousands of thank-you notes for this let me, in advance, say “You’re welcome! You are very, very welcome”
I first stumbled across Pixel Press via a Fastcodesign article that described Pixel Press:
Even as games have adopted incredible graphics and physics, we still love to play 2-D side scrollers. One reason is that, for independent programmers, they’re now relatively simple to code. The other, bigger reason is that they’re still fun.
Pixel Press combines the best of both of these worlds: creation and play. It’s a Kickstarter-backed iOS app with hopes to allow anyone to draw their own Mario-esque sidescrolling levels on paper, then photograph those levels to play on screen. Once digitized, users can add textures and preset skins. They can even tweak the hero, the music, and the level’s general physics before sharing the levels with friends. And it’s all easy enough to do without ever learning to code.
I was immediately sold. I was already feeling nostalgic about drawing our own side-scroller levels on paper and navigating through them with paper cut-out characters. And too I was thinking of possibilities of using such an app in the classroom.
The app is currently seeking funding through Kickstarter. The Kickstarter page and their website have tons more information on the app, but here’s also this video that gives an overview of what Pixel Press is all about:
I recently had the opportunity to pose a few questions to Pixel Press creator Robin Rath. Here are his responses:
This second volume of The &Now Awards recognizes the most provocative, hardest-hitting, deadly serious, patently absurd, cutting-edge, avant-everything-and-nothing work from the years 2009-2011. The &NOW Awards features writing as a contemporary art form: writing as it is practiced today by authors who consciously treat their work as an art, and as a practice explicitly aware of its own literary and extra-literary history—as much about its form and materials, language, as it about its subject matter. The &NOW conference, moving from the University of Notre Dame (2004), Lake Forest College (2006), Chapman University (2008), the University at Buffalo (2009), the University of California, San Diego (2011), and Paris (Sorbonne and Diderot, 2012)—sets the stage for this aesthetic, while The &Now Awards features work from the wider world of innovative publishing and serves as an ideal survey of the contemporary scene.
The anthology features:
Harold Abramowitz (.UNFO)
Shane Allison
Dimitri Anastasopoulos
Daniel Borzutzky
Rachel Gontijo Araujo
Garrett Ashley
Joe Atkins
Jesse Ball
Lutz Bassmann
Jose Perez Beduya
Matt Bell
Kate Bernheimer READ MORE >
Gabe Durham is starting up an incredibly cool new press called Boss Fight Books that will revolve around creating great books about classic video games. The launch titles will be Earthbound, Galaga, Super Mario Bros. 2, ZZT, and Jagged Alliance 2 with a great lineup of authors from a variety of backgrounds. These include Ken Baumann, Michael Kimball, Anna Anthropy, Jon Irwin, and Darius Kazemi. I recorded a two minute video short with short clips for each of the games to commemorate and celebrate the news, as well as a reminder of how cool each of the titles were. I got goosebumps just recording/playing Earthbound again! As their Kickstarter surpassed initial expectations, it’s happening for sure, though you can still get in on the action and help them reach their stretch goals by clicking the link below. The first of the books is coming out near the end of the year and there’s a lot more of the details on the link. The book covers look beautiful and you can check out what the press will be about directly from Gabe Durham and Ken Baumann on the Kickstarter page. And of course, make sure to check out the books when they release, as well as the games themselves!
