1. This nail polish is supposed to last fourteen days without chipping or fading. I am on the tenth day.
2. The fire I built at 10pm last night is just starting to go out. I have added so many pieces of wood to it.
3. Life insurance plans expire arbitrarily. My father’s will be void if he lives past 76. My sister’s was void because she stopped paying.
4. The rechargeable batteries I bought in 2003 only hold charge for thirty minutes now.
I wrote this in 2009. I didn’t fine-tune it. I didn’t submit it. I didn’t blog it. It just sat there. I thought of it fondly. I reread it this morning for the first time in approximately two years, and a lot of it seems to holds true. Here is the unedited version (with yes, Hemingway, the 30s, 40s, 90s, and copious exceptions to this “study” missing):
notes on literary style concerning male protagonists: early-mid 20th century vs. turn of 21st century
– seems like an interesting thing to investigate, have noticed some interesting differences
– in significant works of early-mid 20th century male protagonists seem to uphold certain amounts of confidence, toughness, dominance, even in the face of hardship, emotional experience, or tragedy
– beginning in late 20th century, moving to 21st, male protagonists seem to experience greater awkwardness, greater sense of helplessness and hopelessness, less ambition, less necessity to uphold spirit and status
“A person of any mental quality has ideas of his own. This is common sense.”
(Though, really, I too enjoy being introduced to new writers through lists of writers.)
Tomorrow I will post a collaborative One-line lists on Yankee Pot Roast, which, as mentioned, I’m guest editing thru Monday. I invite anyone to submit in the comment section. YPR is a humor site, so it should be ‘funny’ — though keep in mind I have a twisted sense of humor. I don’t mean gross (Sam Pink), just twisted. Barry Graham and Matthew Simmons are already in it.
Here’s an example of a one-line ‘humorous’ list:
What I thought carried salmonella
Ok, not hilarious, but at least interesting right? Ok. Fuck you too.
If you want to be cited properly, please include your full name spelled correctly. And no offense if/when I don’t pick your entry. I have limited space.
The piece will go up on Yankee Pot Roast Saturday.
December 12th, 2008 / 7:31 pm