This is either “Power Quote: Louis CK,” or “Louis CK on Writing”

“I just wanted to buy a trumpet to learn how to play trumpet. I went in to Sam Ash, or one of those places, and there were all these student trumpets for, like $100. The guy started showing me, you know, here’s like a nickel-plated, beautiful trumpet and it’s got a flawed bell because it was hurt, but they had repaired it. And it was $1400. I didn’t have any of that kind of money. But I went to an ATM and I took out everything I had in the bank, and I bought this fucking $1400 trumpet without having any ability. I’d never even blown into a trumpet before. And then I was walking through Times Square with this fucking thing in my hand, and just freaking out and feeling bad. And I went and ducked into one of those peep shows. Next thing I know I’m in a peep show booth, one of those upright coffins, looking at a chick—a tired Latvian girl, probably—through the window of this peep show and jacking off. And it’s a two-foot by two-foot room. So I jerk off and I came on the trumpet case, which was standing between my legs. And once I came, and I looked at the come on this beautiful, brass-buckled trumpet case, I realized that if I had come to this peep show first, I could’ve saved $1400.”

The very, very funny Louis CK explains the boundaries of ambition. From the October 4, 2010 episode of WTF with Marc Maron.

Begs the questionRaises the question: better that he bought it or better to have headed to the peep show first?

Me? Gotta go trumpet.

UPDATE: Schooled. Thanks for the links.

Power Quote / 18 Comments
October 6th, 2010 / 1:18 pm

Dare to be Stupid: on Gaspar Noe’s “Enter the Void”

[Caveat spoiler. Enter this and all voids at your own risk.]


Enter the Void, the new film by Gaspar Noe, is a nearly three hours’ slurry of blur and brightness, punctuated by lucid moments of pornographic violence and/or actual pornography, and informed by exactly two ideas: the first, that everything about a fluorescent light is utterly fascinating; the second, that the only remotely interesting thing about a woman is her tits. Everything else the film has to say–drugs are bad, kind of, but maybe they’re just really cool; fucking your sister, like fucking your best friend’s mom, has its pros and cons; Japan is really shiny and has relatively few Japanese people in it; something something reincarnation–is either so hopelessly garbled or else delivered in such cliched terms (“Rockabye Baby” plinked out on a celeste! A drug dealer who is also a gay rapist!) that the temptation is to think the movie is inviting your laughter. (O, would that it were so!) I saw it last night with Joshua Cohen at the IFC Cinema in New York.

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Film / 30 Comments
October 6th, 2010 / 12:21 pm

pla(y)giarism versus plagiarism

Consider these two texts. The first was published on 28 June 2010 at Everyday Genius, the second was published yesterday at Metazen. The second author is very familiar with the first author.

The first text:

Rip off the wings of dragonflies

Rip off the wings of dragonflies, take their “spines,” their central lengths and a bit of paste, affix them down noses, between the eyes, one per customer. A dream.

The most important thing

The most important thing, about this pen, is to maintain inkflow: (the idea that) the ink must flow and continue flowing, at all times.

A Certain Angle

Remember, he said, when loaning it to me, this pen won’t write unless held at a certain angle.

It is said of the Emperor Fu Kang

“It is said of the Emperor Fu Kang: that He, with eyes unflinching, and a hand at peace, would have His enemies, and He had many, executed by decapitation. Further, that He would have their heads scooped out, embalmed then impregnated with magnet: the cavity that held the brain would be filled with iron, mined in the furthest West. During His ample leisure He enjoyed tossing these magnetized heads at a metallic surface. Actually in later years, with His son gaining influence, His Empire modernizing and so falling to ruin, this metal surface was often the door to an enormous refrigerator, then the largest to be found in the universe (opening it required two teams of oxen and an equator of rope). Inside this fridge the Emperor kept his foodstuffs, luxuriously imported at our expense, at a temperature most appropriate.”

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Mean / 109 Comments
October 6th, 2010 / 11:33 am

Well That’s Interesting: Boats


Meanwhile, life continues to rule.

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Craft Notes / 2 Comments
October 6th, 2010 / 11:18 am

Grace Half-Off Intimacy Entertainment

1. Monday of next week (Oct 11) we’ll be hosting a live web interview / reading with Grace Krilanovich, author of the truly fantastic The Orange Eats Creeps, here on the site at 9 PM Eastern (that’s 6PM on the West Coast). Mark it! The novel was just selected for the National Book Foundation’s 5 Under 35 Award.

2. Dzanc is running a 50% sale on many of their titles, too good a deal to pass up on if you’ve got some gaps in that collection you’ve been looking to fill.

3. This week The Faster Times is running a multipart epanel on intimacy and social networking involving myself, Stephen Elliott, & Christina Kingston, hosted by Jesus Angel Garcia. Part one is here, with part 2 following today, etc.

4. Those who were interested in the Wallace-inspired A Failed Entertainment exhibit I posted about at the beginning of this year should check out a new development in the series, with an open call for new exhibits for forthcoming exhibitions of the event.

Roundup / 4 Comments
October 6th, 2010 / 10:43 am

Buckets of peanut butter with a layer of whipped cream on top, or else Mothballs-vagina

from BOMB 81 / Fall 2002, LITERATURE

Jonathan Safran Foer . . . do you consider yourself a postmodern writer? In the New Republic, Dale Peck recently said you were upholding the high literary postmodern tradition, a tradition Peck claimed was bankrupt.

Jefferey Eugenides On the issue of postmodernism, Dale Peck and I would agree more than he thinks. I don’t see myself as a high postmodernist. I always say it like this: my generation of writers grew up backwards. We were weaned on modernism and only later read the great 19th-century masters of realism. When we began writing in high school and college, it was experimental fiction. I think now that a certain kind of academic experimental fiction has reached a dead end. Middlesex is a postmodern book in many ways, but it is also very old-fashioned. Reusing classical motifs is a fundamental of postmodern practice, of course, but telling a story isn’t always. I like narrative. I read for it and write for it.

Recently I was reading an old panel discussion from 1975 called “The Symposium on the Future of Contemporary Fiction.” Almost 30 years ago now, but they were basically debating the same thing. How do you make something new in literature? How do you move it forward? This discussion took place among Grace Paley, Donald Barthelme, William H. Gass and Walker Percy. Barthelme and Gass, at the apex of their careers back then, kept going on about creating new voices by means of theoretical exertion. But it was Grace Paley who turned out to be right. It didn’t appear that she was right, but now we can see she was. She said that new language rises again and again from human voices, not just new theories. If you look back now, you see that postmodernism hit a dead end, and what took over were the kinds of books—call them multicultural or whatever you want—that Paley was prophesying.

If there’s anything new in Middlesex, it’s not a matter of formal or theoretical development but closer to the new human experience Paley was talking about. The content in the book is new. The narrator, Cal Stephanides, is a real living hermaphrodite, not a mythical creature like Tiresias or a fanciful one like Orlando.

Foer As long as we’re talking about contemporary writing… Who’s your favorite contemporary writer?

Eugenides Right now my favorite writer is A. A. Milne. Let me give you a sample of why:

Rabbit leant over further than ever, looking for his [stick], and Roo wriggled up and down, calling out, “Come on, stick! Stick, stick stick!” and Piglet got very excited because his was the only one which had been seen, and that meant that he was winning.

“It’s coming!” said Pooh.

“Are you sure it’s mine?” squeaked Piglet excitedly.

“Yes, because it’s grey. A big grey one. Here it comes! A very . . . big . . . grey . . . Oh, no, it isn’t. It’s Eeyore.”

And out Eeyore floated.

“Eeyore!” cried everybody.

Looking very calm, very dignified, with his legs in the air, came Eeyore from beneath the bridge.

“It’s Eeyore!” cried Roo, terribly excited.

“Is that so?” said Eeyore, getting caught up by a little eddy, and turning slowly round three times. “I wondered.”

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Craft Notes & Excerpts / 16 Comments
October 6th, 2010 / 6:21 am

Tao Lin @ Booksmith in SF 10/5/10

[Takes a second to start. Short reading, medium length q/a. I laughed a lot. Fuck you for whining, if you’re whining.]

Web Hype / 6 Comments
October 6th, 2010 / 12:44 am

The next time you’re in Brooklyn…

Hey people who don’t live in New York.*  Yeah, that’s right, you people. There is something happening in Brooklyn that I want you to be a part of. This week I started a business called 3B. It’s a bed and breakfast that I have been renovating with 7 others this summer and now we’re officially  o  p  e  n  .  .  .   .  Amy McDaniel and Alban Fischer both booked weekends for this month and Adam Robinson is threatening to show up with his band. I am excited about all of these people because talking in real life is awesome. FYI: All rooms will be goddamncheap til November 15, when we open our lounge and kitchen. After November 15, I will be giving all Giant-readers a deal, especially if you’re a writer on tour or coming here for writing-related stuff. Even without a discount we are ridiculously cheaper than anywhere else in Brooklyn that isn’t shady and dank and inconvenient. (And our place is really nice and we bring you breakfast and coffee in the morning.)
Also, by staying here you’ll be directly supporting the stories, music, poems, essays, buildings, etc that my roommates and I make. Everyone wins. (And if you’re considering a move to Brooklyn (and who isn’t?) we have good monthly and weekly rates if you need a place to land before finding an apartment.)

*People who live in New York: send us those out-of-towners who keep showing up on your couch!

Random / 18 Comments
October 5th, 2010 / 9:21 pm

Vollmann, Elliott, Foucault

I have been thinking a lot lately about the connections between Foucault’s and Vollmann’s works. Their kinship is immediately apparent. Vollmann has a massive multi-volume treatise on human violence; Foucault has a massive multi-volume treatise on human sexuality. Vollmann works with human sexuality constantly in his fiction and nonfiction; via Foucault’s investigations into power, especially in Discipline and Punish, Foucault works with human violence. Both authors refuse confinement to a single discipline; both are interested in what has been dubbed biopolitics. Vollmann’s Imperial and the newly translated The Birth of Biopolitics by Foucault put into stark relief the overlap in this interest.

“Wrestling the Octopus: William T. Vollmann’s Imperial and Biopolitics;
or: Rethinking Literary Theory;
or: Early Directions in Vollmann Studies”
by Okla Elliott

Random / 52 Comments
October 5th, 2010 / 6:24 pm

Craven self-promotion + craven publisher promotion + actually kind of an interesting way to get one’s work out = Keyhole is now offering to let you pay for minibooks (like mine) and full titles (like the previously mentioned book by Matt Bell) with a tweet.