February 2011

Yesterday was the birthday of one of cinema’s greatest auteurs: Luis Buñuel (1900-1983)

Read more about him @ Senses of Cinema

Un Chien Andalou (1929)
httpv://www.youtube.com/watch?v=pib9zv1dHcE

L’Age d’Or (1930)
httpv://www.youtube.com/watch?v=s5pTjZ2ld5o

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Film / 7 Comments
February 23rd, 2011 / 1:38 am

“The universe wants something that is in me / but not what I have in me to give. / Let me tell you: I haven’t whispered right in years.”

Why there aren’t Jordan Stempleman fan clubs in every open field—fan clubs that would consist of an abandoned Astro Van, painted with blue and yellow racing stripes, almost hidden among the tall stalks under a sunset somehow permanent, while inside the Astro Van is a photograph of the same field and Astro Van under an even more beautiful sunset, a photograph the fans inside the Astro Van try to avoid looking at (but when we do we can’t help but shake our heads) while meanwhile they are either trying to scratch out every reflective surface until it’s not reflective or polish every unreflective surface until it is reflective (we can’t decide), and even meanwhiler crows live their whole productive lives on top of the Astro Van because above all it makes for a meek scarecrow, why there aren’t Jordan Stempleman fan clubs like this—well, it’s beyond me. Here are four sets of decontextualized lines from Jordan’s new chapbook Wallop (from Grey Book Press) :

1

One out of five people applying for citizenship
today secretly wish they were applying
to live in a forest just outside the country
to which they’ve applied,
where they could still see the lights
from the largest cities at night

2

Was that the tenderness people always talk about
or just a bad cold?

3

Health happens like this:
there are stupid things
we put in us.
Some of these things go from stupid to nothing.
A few never leave.

4

… It’s like a road of pine trees
that first say no to the car, no to the bike, no holding hands
to make your way through this rowdy, timeless path.

Author Spotlight / 21 Comments
February 22nd, 2011 / 3:49 pm

Behind the Scenes / 3 Comments
February 22nd, 2011 / 2:22 pm

Reviews

On Listening to Franzen’s Freedom

“To me, the point of a novel is to take you to a still place. You can multitask with a lot of things, but you can’t really multitask reading a book. You’re either reading a book or you’re not.” – Jonathan Franzen, “Jonathan Franzen on Author Videos & the Novel”

In August of last year, a publicist at Macmillan sent a 19-disc audiobook of Freedom by Jonathan Franzen to the newspaper office where I work. She included a handwritten note on Macmillan stationary, “I hope you’ll consider revisiting the pleasures of audiobook with FREEDOM.”

“Audiobooks are great when surfing the internet. You can surf; play games, chat, Skype … There are lots of other ways you can multitask with Audiobooks.” – Jia Hunter, “Multitask Away With Audiobooks”

“The review will be, like, about folding laundry while listening to Freedom, or taking a shit while listening to Freedom, or being on Facebook while listening to Freedom,” I said to my editor. He nodded, mumbled, “Clever,” and made a note in his daily planner.

My wife rolled her eyes when I told her about the review. “Always with this clever shit,” she said.

“And how are you going to take notes when you’re wiping your ass? And how are you going to quote from an audiobook if you’re not taking any notes?”

myeditor:   yeah

no quotes is fine i guess

you’re going to slam him right?

me: that’s the idea

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32 Comments
February 22nd, 2011 / 1:17 pm

CAPTIONMACHINE CONTEST RESULTS

(OG CONTEST POST)

WINNER: Frank Tas

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Contests / 9 Comments
February 22nd, 2011 / 12:41 am

5 things killed in Hawaii after falling into a bulltrap

1. ASU’s online literary mag yawps for submissions for short fiction, poetry, nonfiction, and art for its 7th issue, which is scheduled to come out in May 2011. The guillotine (a term I argue should now replace the tired deadline)  is March 31. For accessories, check out www.superstitionreview.com.

1. If I was teaching a writing class, which mercifully I don’t have to do, here are some passages I’d refer to by way of illustrating some technical lessons.

1. Fairy tales thrive in the face of technology.

1. Hey listen:

In 2008 there were zero books priced at $1 out of the Top 100 bestsellers of the year. In 2011 there are 21.

In 2008 there were only 5 books priced at $5 or below out of the Top 100 bestsellers of the year. In 2011 there are 48.

(Two nights ago someone offered to buy me a Kindle. I just couldn’t. But I am thinking on it.)

5. Today is President’s Day so go compartmentalize, punks.

Random & Roundup / 5 Comments
February 21st, 2011 / 7:41 pm

This again, not this again

I wasn’t going to write this, feeling like the last thing anybody needs is another post explaining or defending or extolling paper, but then two events became bridged in my mind and I felt like I would be restless until I wrote them, about that bridge, so there you have a little apologia for what follows, which is that I moved some months ago to a new house, and recently found myself sitting on the floor late at night amidst boxes filled with folders and smaller boxes, and several folders were marked MISC and contained all kinds of paper, critical essays that I wrote during college and grad school about Emily Dickinson and Auden and post-structuralism and William Blake, and pages from the first novel I wrote, and pages from the first “novel” I wrote, and notebooks filled with other writings, and long letters never sent, and then I opened a box within a box and it was filled with floppy discs, each one labeled with the year and some vague tags, like “teaching stuff” and “post-mod essays” and “stories/summer” and “Needle,” and I just held those floppies like they were quaint artifacts from my Victorian childhood, realizing that I had no means of accessing their contents, and then stacking them neatly back into their smaller and then larger box, and returning to the piles of paper feeling a kind of profound agitation with regard to permanence or the myth of permanence, and remembering standing outside of the office where I worked just a couple blocks from the World Trade Center READ MORE >

Blind Items & Random & Technology / 13 Comments
February 21st, 2011 / 6:30 pm

“Passion in writing or art–or in a lover–can make you overlook a lot of flaws. Passion is underrated. I think we should all produce work with the urgency of outsider artists, painting and jerking off to our kinky private obsessions. Sophistication is conformist, deadening. Let’s get rid of it.”
–Dodie Bellamy in Barf Manifesto

Dear Evelyn you forgot to sign out of your computer in the computer lab…

Hello Evelyn. How are you? I haven’t seen you in a few days. The other day I saw someone and we talked about you and how you like to play settlers of catan. That’s a really good game. I used to play with my roommates, but they would always beat me. Anyway, I was wondering if you could post something on HTMLGIANT for me? It’s a story I wrote for a website called Urlesque. The story is about Emma Watson. Everything in the story is non-fiction except for the title. I feel kind of dirty asking you to post a link to my story because the reason I want you to post a link is purely monetary. The editor of Urlesque said if the story gets a lot of views then I will make more money. I don’t want to want to make a lot of money but it is tough not to want to make money so I’m asking you for a favor to help me make money. If you don’t want to post a link then that’s fine. I understand. I am sort of using you for my own personal gain. The idea of using your name to help me make AOL pay me is not something that feels good (p.s. Urlesque is a subsidiary of AOL). In my head I have this distorted vision that by doing this I am taking my first step up the corporate ladder. I am sort of scared of the idea that AOL now controls a segment of my brain and can make me do cocaine even though I’d rather not do cocaine. Anyway, here’s a link to the story: my date with emma watson.

Random / 20 Comments
February 21st, 2011 / 2:22 pm