MEAN MONDAYS: THIS, THE AGE OF CRUMBS
Hey, does anybody remember when Sam Pink did the ‘other people’ podcast where the interviewer asked a series of really vapid questions and made each answer about himself by ‘relating’ with an anecdotal story even though his anecdots were less interesting than the lumber aisle at home depot.
Then, after an extended period of extreme awkwardness, asked the most undignified, shameless question ever to be asked in any interview: ‘do you like me?’
Wasn’t that, like, totes, the most hilarious/fucking tragically pathetic moment in the last 5 years of human interaction or what.
40 Points: Witch Piss
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Witch Piss
by Sam Pink
Lazy Fascist Press, 2014
112 pages / $8.95 buy from Amazon
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1. Lot of 40s get drunk in Witch Piss.
2. So, take a pull.
3. King Cobras to be specific.
4. King Cobras are dirt cheap at just $1.99.
5. It’s hard to get an idea of the narrator.
6. Early on, he decides to be a ‘yes man.’
7. “I decided then to only ever encourage people, no matter what they wanted to do. To get through life by saying yes to everything, so no one could say I didn’t get what I wanted, and also so nobody would dislike me.”
8. Most everything he says is deflective in this way.
9. The reader does, I think, get a glimpse of the narrator when he shares his thoughts every now and then.
10. “Imagining myself enlarged, inhaling the smoke off a burning cop as he scream ‘no no no’ – unable to even touch his agonizing face because his skin’s so blistered.”
3 Comments
September 18th, 2014 / 5:18 pm
September 18th, 2014 / 5:18 pm
Witch Piss
Witch Piss
by Sam Pink
Lazy Fascist Press, 2014
112 pages / $8.95 buy from Amazon
Rating: 7.0
Witch Piss is the bottom of a forty oz.
Witch Piss is a novel.
Witch Piss is published by Lazy Fascist Press.
Witch Piss is Sam Pink writing about a Sam Pink-like narrator.
Witch Piss is homeless men.
Witch Piss is “Y’gah be kiddin me.”
Witch Piss is a slurry of language.
Witch Piss is written in dialect.
Witch Piss is a man named Spider-Man.
Witch Piss is a girl named Janet in a dirty Depends.
4 Comments
March 25th, 2014 / 12:00 pm
March 25th, 2014 / 12:00 pm
POEM-A-DAY from THE ACADEMY OF AMERICAN LUNATICS (#7)
Sam Pink’s looking for a rich ‘big beautiful woman’ to take him to AWP — (“i’m a mobstaaaaah”)
DOG STORY
by Sam Pink
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there’s this dog that lives a few blocks away from me. i always see him lying down in a fenced-in patio area out back. one time i saw a guy walking his dog by the fenced-in patio area and the guy stopped and stood there distracted–talking on his cellphone–as his dog pissed on the head of the dog lying down, who didn’t move.
***
i wrote this poem after rauan asked me if i had any poems. the main inspiration is a dog i saw getting pissed on, and also, rauan asking me for a poem.
note: I’ve started this feature up as a kind of homage and alternative (a companion series, if you will) to the incredible work Alex Dimitrov and the rest of the team at the The Academy of American Poets are doing. I mean it’s astonishing how they are able to get masterpieces of such stature out to the masses on an almost daily basis. But, some poems, though formidable in their own right, aren’t quite right for that pantheon. And, so I’m planning on bridging the gap. A kind of complementary series. Enjoy!
8 Comments
December 2nd, 2013 / 9:21 pm
December 2nd, 2013 / 9:21 pm
25 Points: Gerald McClellan vs Nigel Benn
Gerald McClellan vs Nigel Benn
by Sam Pink
Wormblanket Press, 2013
$10.00 buy from Wormblanket Press
1. Who are these people. I picture Gerald McClellan in a ring with Nigel Benn but maybe they’re just labels on a whiskey pint, they’re on the shelf next to each other like “Hey, we made it,” and maybe they have. Shelf life for life.
2. Sam’s Chicago doesn’t require much “game” or at least if you’re pretty for a white boy it kind of seems like the junkies are all thinking like a bunch of teenage girls.
3. I felt the distinct possibility of having teenage girls want to/pretend to want to fuck me to be alluring but not in a sexual way. All those big eyes with mascara and vodka and older brothers smaller than me. Everything would ride on those brothers being smaller than me, though. They’ve got retractable batons. My little brother once had a friend named Erin that I wanted to like me because she was going to art school in France according to my mom.
4. I worked in a warehouse once. So did I. The people in Sam’s warehouse seem like chillers. I want to throw a jammer with these chillers, and then they do. Same thing about the feeling in “Nice Job”. I would have never said “Nice Job” to anyone driving a forklift. Thought about it though.
5. Limited death types/options on pursuing boxing as a future.
6. Every story has a choice. Listing choices is easy. Spending the night outside of your girlfriend’s apartment because you have no other choice, even if you think the rats are sweet, is a hard choice to make. The movements of Sam’s characters feel both arbitrary and necessary, but always made by one person alone.
7. No matter what, the homeless will always have more friends than you.
8. G’be k’n me is something I’d like to incorporate into my regular speech.
9. If my grandfather always said, “Hey, now who’s this little shithead?” I would be okay with it because my grandfather has Alzheimers. Mine are all dead.
10. Just went to the movies last night. Didn’t question why no one talked to me. Kind of want to move to Chicago. READ MORE >
1 Comment
March 28th, 2013 / 12:09 pm
March 28th, 2013 / 12:09 pm
My Experience Writing for Muumuu House
Wrote about Tao Lin for Hobart.
Exchanged emails with Tao about what I wrote.
Tao cut and pasted part I’d written about Zac Zellers and Marie Calloway and wrote beneath it “this seems funny to me.”
Replied with a paragraph in which I described Zac Zellers as the “Where’s Waldo” of Ann Arbor.
19 mins later got email from Tao saying “you should write something about this and send it to me.”
I still work, motherfucker–New Sam Pink!
Electric Literature’s Recommended Reading this week is an excerpt from Sam Pink‘s forthcoming novel, Rontel, which is coming Valentine’s Day 2013 in print form from Lazy Fascist Press (kudos to Cameron Pierce!), as well as in a digital edition via Electric Literature. EL has also posted an animation of one of the sentences:
I found the excerpt hilarious and enjoyable and good. Sam is one of my favorite authors. I assume a lot of people who come to this site already love Sam Pink or suck, but if you don’t know him, he is a very clever author, darkly comic with some other thing going on.
Some excerpts from the excerpt:
And also:
Viva Sam Pink!
Blake Butler—
At The Faster Times, James Yeh provides an excellent & funny long gmail chat interview with former-Giant contributor, still-Giant-for-life Sam Pink on the occasion of his new novel PERSON from Lazy Fascist Press, which I can’t wait to get my hands on.